My Adoption Story

 

I was 15.  I was in denial, but now almost two months had passed and I had to know for sure.  I parked the car far off and walked the rest of the way to Planned Parenthood.  I was so nervous someone would recognize me!  No one knew my secret.

“Well, here it is.”  My test was positive and I felt very alone.  The clinic staff were so…cold.  It was the worst feeling ever.  I didn’t know what to do.  My boyfriend was shocked when he found out and I could sense he didn’t want me to keep the baby.  But I hadn’t yet made up my mind what to do, so I went back to “life as usual” and remained busy in sports and with school.  I tried not to think about it too much and completed my sophomore year. 

Summer started and I knew I couldn’t hide my secret much longer.  I was starting to show.  By July, my parents began to suspect something was going on.  Normally, I would have been at the pool and hanging out with friends, but now I stayed home and kept to myself.  Soon they asked, and I had to say “yes”.  They were surprised and sad.  We all cried together.  I had been so afraid of their reaction, so afraid of what would happen when they found out, but in the end, I found only love and support. 

I could feel her moving, this new little life growing inside me.  I knew I had a decision to make.  I was too young to be a parent.  There were things I wanted to do and I knew that at almost 16, I wasn’t able to give her the life she needed.  Adoption felt like the best option.  It would be hard, but deep down I knew it was the right decision.  My doctor had information about a family that was looking to adopt; I agreed to a closed adoption.  This decision made me feel safe and secure, knowing she would be loved and cared for by a family. 

She was born in November.  My boyfriend came to see me at the hospital and we picked up where we left off.  I had missed a semester and was nervous about starting back to school, wondering what awaited me.  But my friends welcomed me with open arms.  Inwardly, I was emotionally torn.  It was really hard at first.  I missed my baby and carried the thought of her every day, but I was also happy to go on with my life.  I knew she was in a good place and that she was loved.

The years went by.  I graduated high school, then college.  I started my career.  I got married and had children.  More than 30 years had passed since my daughter was born.

These days open adoptions are quite common.  The birth mother has contact and opportunity for an on-going relationship with the child and adoptive parents.  Because of my closed adoption, the records were sealed and I had no idea my daughter had been searching for me until my son came home one day to tell me that the DNA test he took revealed he had a half-sister.  What a surprise!  She and I started talking and a few months later we met for the first time.  I have a grandson and I am building a relationship with my daughter, something I never dreamed was possible.  She has respect for me and the choices I made, and understands the decision to choose adoption was one of loving sacrifice. 

Adoption was a hard decision.  But it was one I never regretted.  I am so thankful that I gave my daughter a chance at life.

 

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